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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Friday, June 1, 2007
The broken-down junk that floated up into my dream while I was sleeping
THIS DREAM LASTED FROM ? TO 4:58
I walked to the train station to get away from Nanny. Because Nanny was following me I took the train to the station near my home. When I got there, I got into the elevator, which looked suspiciously like cardboard box. I pressed the ON button... and fell unconscious.
I woke up just outside the box, back on the first floor. I walked right, and found another elevator. I got in and pressed 5, even though this elevator was a yellow cardstock box. I arrived. There was a yellow cardstock lunchroom filled with men who might be builders. The elevator cable broke. There was trash below. The good news: I was not hurt. The bad news: It was Dump As Much Trash Down The Elevator As Possible Day. The men dumped old candy wrappers, stale cereal bars, a wedding ring, a small brown papier mache bottle marked:
CASTRO'S AMAZING CHLOROFORM FLUID, and a bunch of really, really, old cheese. Oh, and a banana peel. But... The men came down. They found me, even though I tried to hide.They took me to a box that said CASTRO'S AMAZING BOX. They dropped me into it. I got a glimpse of a papier mache bottle on a string. I only saw: A 'S AMAZING FORM LUID. Than I was unconscious once again.
When I came to, I was in a gorgeous top floor office with an executive-cat-guy-thing in it. It said "I've been expecting you... But do please take the use of my gorgeous, beauteous, elevator... You'll find your way back eventually... Probably after you run out of food... Goodbye!" He smiled malevolently. I sprinted for the elevator. As I went to the buttons, he called, "We'll be monitoring which floor you get out on!" The doors closed, and I looked around. It was made of concrete, with a pile of feces and urine-If you don't know what that means, it means pee-pee and poo-poo- and Guenevere was inside with me. She leaped into my arms, because she was as afraid as I. The elevator got to floor2 and opened. I had wanted floor 1, but there were stairs. I went down the stairs, (very steep they were,) and saw my mother. I tried to call to her but my voice was too hoarse. Miraculously, she saw me. We ran as fast as we could, because the
Executive Cat-Guy-Thing was coming, its Executive Claw-Nail-Things out. It was almost too late. But we made it. Isaac and Daddy were at the Information Desk. We ran as fast as we could.
I walked to the train station to get away from Nanny. Because Nanny was following me I took the train to the station near my home. When I got there, I got into the elevator, which looked suspiciously like cardboard box. I pressed the ON button... and fell unconscious.
I woke up just outside the box, back on the first floor. I walked right, and found another elevator. I got in and pressed 5, even though this elevator was a yellow cardstock box. I arrived. There was a yellow cardstock lunchroom filled with men who might be builders. The elevator cable broke. There was trash below. The good news: I was not hurt. The bad news: It was Dump As Much Trash Down The Elevator As Possible Day. The men dumped old candy wrappers, stale cereal bars, a wedding ring, a small brown papier mache bottle marked:
CASTRO'S AMAZING CHLOROFORM FLUID, and a bunch of really, really, old cheese. Oh, and a banana peel. But... The men came down. They found me, even though I tried to hide.They took me to a box that said CASTRO'S AMAZING BOX. They dropped me into it. I got a glimpse of a papier mache bottle on a string. I only saw: A 'S AMAZING FORM LUID. Than I was unconscious once again.
When I came to, I was in a gorgeous top floor office with an executive-cat-guy-thing in it. It said "I've been expecting you... But do please take the use of my gorgeous, beauteous, elevator... You'll find your way back eventually... Probably after you run out of food... Goodbye!" He smiled malevolently. I sprinted for the elevator. As I went to the buttons, he called, "We'll be monitoring which floor you get out on!" The doors closed, and I looked around. It was made of concrete, with a pile of feces and urine-If you don't know what that means, it means pee-pee and poo-poo- and Guenevere was inside with me. She leaped into my arms, because she was as afraid as I. The elevator got to floor2 and opened. I had wanted floor 1, but there were stairs. I went down the stairs, (very steep they were,) and saw my mother. I tried to call to her but my voice was too hoarse. Miraculously, she saw me. We ran as fast as we could, because the
Executive Cat-Guy-Thing was coming, its Executive Claw-Nail-Things out. It was almost too late. But we made it. Isaac and Daddy were at the Information Desk. We ran as fast as we could.
CRACK-KABOOM
thunder crashed
but i was
awake.
P.S. The storm lasted from 4:58 to 5:05.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Freakish Dream (Why do I have so many of these?)
I had a dream. See below.
I was driving a car to camp Wildwood. When I parked, I went into the mess hall. It was about 5 times bigger than normal. I got some food at the buffet table, then went to the checkout that was in a dark corner. "Five dollars, Deah," the ancient cashier said creakily. I opened my little purple purse that I always carry (you know the one) and took out a five dollar bill. Except it wasn't. It was a piece of paper that said:
5 Five Dollars 5
FIVE
5 Five Dollars 5
How odd. But she took it anyway. I walked off to eat at one of the HUGE tables that lined the hall, when I noticed my family eating at one. I walked over to my dad and started yelling at him for filling my purse with fake money. Then the scene changed. I was by myself in a room that had a big sign that said:
WOMEN'S CHANGING ROOM
Next to me there was a door with a sign that said:
MEN'S CHANGING ROOM.
It opened. Then I realised that I was naked. I screamed and ran into an unmarked, pulsating door. Inside of this door was a room full of whirling, glowing, colorful, things. I ran up to a computer screen, realising too late that it was a virtual reality game with advanced technology. I screamed again. My friend Sarah (Hi, Sarah) was in the game with me. The game was called Shopping World. Suddenly the game became real. I was alone in a shopping mall, in a concrete area full of trash, painted garishly with graffiti, and- there were three teenagers in this horrid place. Two boys, one fat, the other too thin to be real. One girl, with canines like fangs. They were all wearing tall cowboy boots. The fat boy reached down to his boots and inserted several white, squishy, cylindrical somethings into small holes in his boots. The thin boy and fanged girl followed his lead. Instantly, the teens started skateboarding around the slanted floor on small race cars. Then without warning, fist the thin boy, then the girl, fell down screaming and writhing in pain. Last of all was the fat boy. His howls were quieter than the rest. He had done this before. I ran, as fast as I could, up the red ramp, the stairs. I ran into the cafeteria, where my family was waiting. My dad was talking to a woman with red hair. This is what I heard: "Those teens were using goat fat implants with garlic. They give you a energy boost, then fill you with unbearable pain. (At this point, I realised that I had left my shoe behind with the Goat-Fat-Teens. But, I thought, I can always buy a new pair. Those ones were too small anyway.)
Than I woke up. I still don't understand my dream.
I was driving a car to camp Wildwood. When I parked, I went into the mess hall. It was about 5 times bigger than normal. I got some food at the buffet table, then went to the checkout that was in a dark corner. "Five dollars, Deah," the ancient cashier said creakily. I opened my little purple purse that I always carry (you know the one) and took out a five dollar bill. Except it wasn't. It was a piece of paper that said:
5 Five Dollars 5
FIVE
5 Five Dollars 5
How odd. But she took it anyway. I walked off to eat at one of the HUGE tables that lined the hall, when I noticed my family eating at one. I walked over to my dad and started yelling at him for filling my purse with fake money. Then the scene changed. I was by myself in a room that had a big sign that said:
WOMEN'S CHANGING ROOM
Next to me there was a door with a sign that said:
MEN'S CHANGING ROOM.
It opened. Then I realised that I was naked. I screamed and ran into an unmarked, pulsating door. Inside of this door was a room full of whirling, glowing, colorful, things. I ran up to a computer screen, realising too late that it was a virtual reality game with advanced technology. I screamed again. My friend Sarah (Hi, Sarah) was in the game with me. The game was called Shopping World. Suddenly the game became real. I was alone in a shopping mall, in a concrete area full of trash, painted garishly with graffiti, and- there were three teenagers in this horrid place. Two boys, one fat, the other too thin to be real. One girl, with canines like fangs. They were all wearing tall cowboy boots. The fat boy reached down to his boots and inserted several white, squishy, cylindrical somethings into small holes in his boots. The thin boy and fanged girl followed his lead. Instantly, the teens started skateboarding around the slanted floor on small race cars. Then without warning, fist the thin boy, then the girl, fell down screaming and writhing in pain. Last of all was the fat boy. His howls were quieter than the rest. He had done this before. I ran, as fast as I could, up the red ramp, the stairs. I ran into the cafeteria, where my family was waiting. My dad was talking to a woman with red hair. This is what I heard: "Those teens were using goat fat implants with garlic. They give you a energy boost, then fill you with unbearable pain. (At this point, I realised that I had left my shoe behind with the Goat-Fat-Teens. But, I thought, I can always buy a new pair. Those ones were too small anyway.)
Than I woke up. I still don't understand my dream.
Monday, April 23, 2007
LOOK AT THIS (AND IF YOU DON'T I'LL BE VERY ANGRY)
I am writing another novel.
{I'm waiting for you to say something like: 'Oh, another one! Give me a break!'}
But it's true, oh yes it is. If you think I'm insane, email me. If you want to see it, email me. I'll send you whatever I have written so far. If you think this is a hoax, YOU ARE WRONG, but email me anyway.
From the lips (keyboard) of RAchel Bernoff
P.S. I don't have a name for it yet. But don't worry, I'll think of something!
P.P.S. THIS IS NOT A HOAX! THIS IS ENTIRELEY TRUE! @#$%&*!
{I'm waiting for you to say something like: 'Oh, another one! Give me a break!'}
But it's true, oh yes it is. If you think I'm insane, email me. If you want to see it, email me. I'll send you whatever I have written so far. If you think this is a hoax, YOU ARE WRONG, but email me anyway.
From the lips (keyboard) of RAchel Bernoff
P.S. I don't have a name for it yet. But don't worry, I'll think of something!
P.P.S. THIS IS NOT A HOAX! THIS IS ENTIRELEY TRUE! @#$%&*!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Today (and Yesterday)
Yesterday I want on a plane. It was boring. EXTREMLEY BORING!
BORING!
BORING!BORING!
BORING! BORING! BORING!
BORING! BORING! BORING! BORING!
BORING! BORING! BORING!
BORING! BORING!
BORING!
BORIN
G!
You get the idea.
Today: I went to my brother's baseball game.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Dream
I had a dream that I slid into the water of a calm crystal sea. As my body touched the water it turned into the sleek form of a dolphin. I swam into a reef-that-wasn't-a-reef and began to eat a thing that looked like a stick of red-and-white clay, but was as brittle as a candycane. It tasted like a pineapple. What looked like a dolphin/shark hybrid swam up to me. In the Mind-speech of the People,(animals) it said to me: Beware the stick-broom/it leads to your doom.
I understood perfectly, for reasons I do not understand. I wandered off, eating "coral" as I went: yellow-blue-pink-grey-red-orange-silver. My color changed as I ate. I continued: Green-pink-silver-blue-orange-Wait! Beware the stick-broom/it leads to your doom. I continued, unknowing... the stalks became more rubbery: yellow-blue-green-pink-grey-brown. I swam up. It was bristly... A whirlpool started to spin around me-I fell...Down...And-
I understood perfectly, for reasons I do not understand. I wandered off, eating "coral" as I went: yellow-blue-pink-grey-red-orange-silver. My color changed as I ate. I continued: Green-pink-silver-blue-orange-Wait! Beware the stick-broom/it leads to your doom. I continued, unknowing... the stalks became more rubbery: yellow-blue-green-pink-grey-brown. I swam up. It was bristly... A whirlpool started to spin around me-I fell...Down...And-
And I woke up.
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