The broken-down junk that floated up into my dream while I was sleeping

THIS DREAM LASTED FROM ? TO 4:58

I walked to the train station to get away from Nanny. Because Nanny was following me I took the train to the station near my home. When I got there, I got into the elevator, which looked suspiciously like cardboard box. I pressed the ON button... and fell unconscious.
I woke up just outside the box, back on the first floor. I walked right, and found another elevator. I got in and pressed 5, even though this elevator was a yellow cardstock box. I arrived. There was a yellow cardstock lunchroom filled with men who might be builders. The elevator cable broke. There was trash below. The good news: I was not hurt. The bad news: It was Dump As Much Trash Down The Elevator As Possible Day. The men dumped old candy wrappers, stale cereal bars, a wedding ring, a small brown papier mache bottle marked:
CASTRO'S AMAZING CHLOROFORM FLUID, and a bunch of really, really, old cheese. Oh, and a banana peel. But... The men came down. They found me, even though I tried to hide.They took me to a box that said CASTRO'S AMAZING BOX. They dropped me into it. I got a glimpse of a papier mache bottle on a string. I only saw: A 'S AMAZING FORM LUID. Than I was unconscious once again.
When I came to, I was in a gorgeous top floor office with an executive-cat-guy-thing in it. It said "I've been expecting you... But do please take the use of my gorgeous, beauteous, elevator... You'll find your way back eventually... Probably after you run out of food... Goodbye!" He smiled malevolently. I sprinted for the elevator. As I went to the buttons, he called, "We'll be monitoring which floor you get out on!" The doors closed, and I looked around. It was made of concrete, with a pile of feces and urine-If you don't know what that means, it means pee-pee and poo-poo- and Guenevere was inside with me. She leaped into my arms, because she was as afraid as I. The elevator got to floor2 and opened. I had wanted floor 1, but there were stairs. I went down the stairs, (very steep they were,) and saw my mother. I tried to call to her but my voice was too hoarse. Miraculously, she saw me. We ran as fast as we could, because the
Executive Cat-Guy-Thing was coming, its Executive Claw-Nail-Things out. It was almost too late. But we made it. Isaac and Daddy were at the Information Desk. We ran as fast as we could.

CRACK-KABOOM

thunder crashed

but i was

awake.

P.S. The storm lasted from 4:58 to 5:05.

Freakish Dream (Why do I have so many of these?)

I had a dream. See below.


I was driving a car to camp Wildwood. When I parked, I went into the mess hall. It was about 5 times bigger than normal. I got some food at the buffet table, then went to the checkout that was in a dark corner. "Five dollars, Deah," the ancient cashier said creakily. I opened my little purple purse that I always carry (you know the one) and took out a five dollar bill. Except it wasn't. It was a piece of paper that said:

5 Five Dollars 5
FIVE
5 Five Dollars 5

How odd. But she took it anyway. I walked off to eat at one of the HUGE tables that lined the hall, when I noticed my family eating at one. I walked over to my dad and started yelling at him for filling my purse with fake money. Then the scene changed. I was by myself in a room that had a big sign that said:
WOMEN'S CHANGING ROOM
Next to me there was a door with a sign that said:
MEN'S CHANGING ROOM.
It opened. Then I realised that I was naked. I screamed and ran into an unmarked, pulsating door. Inside of this door was a room full of whirling, glowing, colorful, things. I ran up to a computer screen, realising too late that it was a virtual reality game with advanced technology. I screamed again. My friend Sarah (Hi, Sarah) was in the game with me. The game was called Shopping World. Suddenly the game became real. I was alone in a shopping mall, in a concrete area full of trash, painted garishly with graffiti, and- there were three teenagers in this horrid place. Two boys, one fat, the other too thin to be real. One girl, with canines like fangs. They were all wearing tall cowboy boots. The fat boy reached down to his boots and inserted several white, squishy, cylindrical somethings into small holes in his boots. The thin boy and fanged girl followed his lead. Instantly, the teens started skateboarding around the slanted floor on small race cars. Then without warning, fist the thin boy, then the girl, fell down screaming and writhing in pain. Last of all was the fat boy. His howls were quieter than the rest. He had done this before. I ran, as fast as I could, up the red ramp, the stairs. I ran into the cafeteria, where my family was waiting. My dad was talking to a woman with red hair. This is what I heard: "Those teens were using goat fat implants with garlic. They give you a energy boost, then fill you with unbearable pain. (At this point, I realised that I had left my shoe behind with the Goat-Fat-Teens. But, I thought, I can always buy a new pair. Those ones were too small anyway.)
Than I woke up. I still don't understand my dream.

LOOK AT THIS (AND IF YOU DON'T I'LL BE VERY ANGRY)

I am writing another novel.
{I'm waiting for you to say something like: 'Oh, another one! Give me a break!'}
But it's true, oh yes it is. If you think I'm insane, email me. If you want to see it, email me. I'll send you whatever I have written so far. If you think this is a hoax, YOU ARE WRONG, but email me anyway.

From the lips (keyboard) of RAchel Bernoff

P.S. I don't have a name for it yet. But don't worry, I'll think of something!
P.P.S. THIS IS NOT A HOAX! THIS IS ENTIRELEY TRUE! @#$%&*!

Today (and Yesterday)

Yesterday I want on a plane. It was boring. EXTREMLEY BORING!

BORING!

BORING!BORING!

BORING! BORING! BORING!

BORING! BORING! BORING! BORING!

BORING! BORING! BORING!

BORING! BORING!

BORING!

BORIN

G!

You get the idea.

Today: I went to my brother's baseball game.

Dream

I had a dream that I slid into the water of a calm crystal sea. As my body touched the water it turned into the sleek form of a dolphin. I swam into a reef-that-wasn't-a-reef and began to eat a thing that looked like a stick of red-and-white clay, but was as brittle as a candycane. It tasted like a pineapple. What looked like a dolphin/shark hybrid swam up to me. In the Mind-speech of the People,(animals) it said to me: Beware the stick-broom/it leads to your doom.
I understood perfectly, for reasons I do not understand. I wandered off, eating "coral" as I went: yellow-blue-pink-grey-red-orange-silver. My color changed as I ate. I continued: Green-pink-silver-blue-orange-Wait! Beware the stick-broom/it leads to your doom. I continued, unknowing... the stalks became more rubbery: yellow-blue-green-pink-grey-brown. I swam up. It was bristly... A whirlpool started to spin around me-I fell...Down...And-

And I woke up.

InTo ThE wOoDs!

YaY! i Am SeEiNg ThE iNtO tHe WoOdS sHoW tOdAy! WaHoO! I a m p l a y i n g w i t h w o r d s a n d l e t t e r s t o o ! .o0O0o. >^..^<>

Ski Trip

I had a lot of fun. First, I went to a Green Circle. After a few runs on it, I decided to do a Blue Square. Unfortunately, I went down a Black Diamond. I wiped out ten yards down. one of my skis fell off and rolled away. I took my other ski off and slid on my butt to get it. After a bit of butt-sliding, I went on another black-diamond course. Then a Ski Patrol guy offered to take my skis to the green course. I agreed.

3 Lift rides/ski slopes later, I went on Green Circle again. At the bottom, I dodged a few people. I dodged one more person. Then . . . It was too late to turn. A three-foot-tall Chunk of Ice and Snow, straight in front of me. I hit it head-on. (see cartoon ABOVE) I flew over, propelled by my momentum. (And my ski poles.) One word:OW! A Ski Patrol guy skied up to me and checked that I was O.K. I was. (Except that my butt felt like h**k.)

Sorry about the wait...

Hello everybody! I've been kinda busy lately, so I haven't posted. I'm going SKIING tomorrow! I'm so completely excited! ^..^ {Don't ask about the cat, it's just there.} Click above on SKIING for a surprise!

Sorry about the long wait between posts. Yesterday I bought a stuffed fox. His name is Douglas de la queue merveilleuse, witch means Douglas of the mavelous tail.

Nothing In Particularly

Today I went to my rock climbing class at Boston Rock Gym. See www.bostonrockgym.com for information about it. Now my fingers REALLY, REALLY hurt!

Goodbye.


Bye-Bye.


Bye.


Adios.


And so on...

And on...

And on...

Today

Today I watched a show about global warming on Natoional Geographic. IT WAS REALLY SCARY! Everybody, stop riding cars! Okay, maybe you think that I over-reacted, but it scared me a lot. The rises in the ocean will be getting bigger and bigger over the years. Please be careful. (Please!) :(

Love Is In The Air

Today is February 2nd. You know what that means! VALENTINE'S DAY! I'm going to put up signs in my house that say things like: Give Me Chocolate (I might forget to put them up, though.)
Anyway, do you want to hear the truth about how the idea of my book started? It all started one dark and stormy night...(As dark as it can be with streetlights outside, and as stormy as it is on a clear night.) I was sitting at my desk, drawing some impressive sketches...(As impressive as any misporportioned, hideous drawing can be.[I've improved since then.]) Then-the idea hit me like a sledgehammer(Actually I looked down at my sky-blue long underwear)And thought to myself: "These pajamas look like a outfit from a far-off planet!"(Please note that I put my thoughts into "quotes.") I started drawing pictures of people wearing outfits of sky-blue underwear. Eventually, as I often do, I got distracted by something. (I forget exactly what, but I think it was my bladder.) When I came back, I noticed that they needed some different colors. I started drawing people in orange, too. when I took a 2-second break to stretch, I thought to myself:"Maybe they could be good people, (Not 'guys', though. 'Guys' is too masculine.) and bad people!" That was all I needed. A complicated plot line began unraveling inside of my head, even as I went to bed. There it saturated my dreams, and i woke up the next morning, got out of bed, ran down the stairs, turned on the computer, and started typing. The rest is history.

Hey, Dad!

DAddy, did you know that you spelled 'interesting' wrong? (intersting)
Also, I saw your blog, Evelyn. It's cool.

Almost February!

As you know, today is January 31st, and that means February is nearly upon us!

The prologue of my book, Kondor

This is the prologue of my book that I'm writing.

PROLOGUE
There is a man addressing his soldiers. His mechanical side gleams brightly under the artificial lights, while his human side gestures profoundly. The soldiers sit silently, watching and listening. What is he saying…? You can’t find out until you read this book.

Creepy dream

I had a dream that was like this: I was in the T & P Martial Arts practice room, except that it was inside a huge mansion. We were playing Little Kids Must Be Destroyed - a game kinda like Dodgeball - except that they were throwing Oreos and Peanut M'nMs at us instead of foam balls.

Everybody was eating the M'nMs instead of dodging them, and I caught one in my mouth. I nearly choked! There were some little rooms off to the side, and they were about 6 feet square. The game was over, and we were cleaning up. I went into one of the rooms off to the side, and I cleaned up some M'nMs that had fallen in there. Then I noticed that the entire room was covered in thick blue padding, and it had large wooden rings hanging from ropes. I saw an M'nM on the far side of the room, which was suddenly over 20 feet away from me. Then, a whole bunch of cracks opened up in the blue padding. I had to swing. Five minutes (One blink) later, i saw the M'nM again. It was black. I climbed up 10 feet of scaffolding, and there it was: the Black M'nM. Then I woke up.

Today cake is coming!

Today is my friend Sarah's birthday party. She's having a bowling party. I really hope that I don't totally embarrass myself in front of everyone by REALLY stinking at bowling.

First non-welcome post

So. Hi. Did you suffer in my absence? I thought not. Ah, may as well get on with the pleasantries. Today I did some ice skating with my friend, Evelyn. We yakked for hours. (Yes, we did!) That's all for now!

Ta ta!





Bye.

Welcome to My Blog

Hello! My blog is officially open. *cuts ribbon*